Executive Times
		2005 Book Reviews
		The Likeability Factor: How to Boost Your L-Factor and Achieve Your Life’s Dreams by Tim Sanders
		Rating: •• (Mildly Recommended)
		Click on title or picture to buy from amazon.com
	Honey Tim Sanders’ new book, The Likeability Factor, reinforces the premise that people who are liked get what they want. Readers who are attracted to how-to books are likely to find something of interest in the platitudes Sanders presents here. While there are occasional references to research, the basis of Sanders perspective is often missing. Cynics may say that those readers who follow Sanders advice, and work on friendliness, relevance, empathy and realness, will be more likeable no matter how despicable they really are. Here’s an excerpt, from the beginning of Chapter 3, “Likeability Works,” pp. 49-53: Whenever I travel to Manhattan, I stay at the same hotel. I like the facilities and the familiarity: the doormen, the bellhops, and the desk clerks know me, and I have a good relationship with all of them. One doorman, whom I call Gentleman Jim, asked me recently what my newest book was about. I told him, and he smiled as though the proverbial light had gone on in his head. He recalled the story of a customer who had screamed and ranted about how terrible his room was, and how he deserved something much better. Jim told the man that if he called the front desk and was pleasant, he would be surprised how helpful they might be. But if the guest continued to talk rudely, he’d probably find his towels weren’t exchanged and his bed remained unchanged. Jim said that he’d been trying to coach all his repeat guests in the art of likeability. “People are beat up in New York. Pleasantness is about the only good thing we get out of work. I will stand in the middle of the street and let a taxi run over me for a likeable person, but not for some bastard who growls at me and then thinks he can buy my loyalty with a three-dollar tip.” Likeability makes things happen, not just while staying at a hotel but throughout your entire stay on this earth. Following are likeability’s most important consequences. Likeable People Bring Out the Best in Others The other day I was in a sporting goods store with a short-tempered friend. As usual, it took him only a few minutes to become irritable when he couldn’t find the warm-up suit he wanted, and he took his frustration out on the salesman who’d been doing his best to help. When my friend finally asked if someone could check the stock at the store’s other branches, the salesman told him that it would take a day to get that information. Clearly, it would actually only take one phone call. But the salesman had no intention of going out of his way to help my friend, who stalked out of the store in anger, muttering how no one understood good service anymore. I couldn’t help but notice that other customers in the store were being graciously assisted. The fact is, some people simply receive better service than others. And I don’t just mean at stores and restaurants but also at the post office and the bank, at doctors’ and lawyers’ offices, at school and at work. The reason? Likeable people inspire others to give more. In a 2002 study by the National Service Foundation, more than four thousand people were asked about their perceived levels of service throughout their lives. They then answered questions whose answers indicated which of several personality types they fell into. The survey showed that the “likeable and competent” customer was three times more likely to have a positive service experience than the unlikeable customer. One place where the kind of service you receive matters a great deal is the doctor’s office. Here numerous studies have shown that likeable patients bring out the best in their physicians. Barbara Gerbert, a professor of behavioral sciences at the University of California at Berkeley, conducted a study administered to ninety-three physicians, measuring their level of service to different types of patients. Gerbert found that “there were significant differences in the treatment dimensions, depending on the characteristics of the patient. . . . For example, the likeable and competent patient would be encouraged significantly more often to telephone the doctor and to return more frequently for follow-up than would be the unlikeable patient.” Perhaps you don’t care about the service you receive from your own doctor, but if you have children, you surely worry about their care. In a survey of twenty-five hospital doctors initiated by Roy Meadow, a pediatrician at St. James’s University Hospital in Leeds, England, researchers studied what happens when both like-able and unlikeable parents bring in children. Not unsurprisingly, children with likeable parents received better health care and were more likely to receive follow-up appointments. Furthermore, the amount of time the doctor spent with the family at clinics was longer when the patient’s parents were likeable. Likeable parents seemed to draw out more time, attention, and conscientious behavior from physicians and health-care workers alike. Likeability brings out the best in people throughout life. For example, likeable teachers often become positive influences on their students. In the 1980s Drs. Seymour Uranowitz and Ken Doyle at the University of Michigan conducted a study entitled “Being Liked and Teaching: The Effects of Personal Likeability,” in which they surveyed thousands of students and teachers over a four-year period. They concluded that “students who perceive a more positive student-professor relationship and like their professors may be more motivated to learn because the presence of the professor is rewarding to them, and they care more about obtaining the approval of the professor.” Another, more recent study by researchers at the Family Development Center, in conjunction with the University of Minnesota, concluded that “students become better learners when they experience warmth and friendliness, when they receive praise, recognition, and respect.” Similar studies show similar results in professional situations. Leadership is enhanced by the likeable personality type. William Heyman, CEO of Heyman Associates, a leading executive search firm, spent three years measuring the essence of leadership against personality traits. He determined that “a real leader understands two important issues: one, having the energy to share the experience shoulder-to-shoulder with staff; and, two, that sensitivity on how to be a good coach leads to the perception of warmth and openness and what I call ‘likeability.’” Heyman states that a leader’s success is measured in part by how well he or she gets along with others; he notes that employees will take on more burdensome and undesirable tasks for managers with likeability. Think about your own experiences with coaches, bosses, parents, and teachers throughout your life. Try to recall exactly what moment inspired you to raise your bar and give a little more. Most likely you’ll remember it was a likeable person who most inspired you. Here’s an example from American history. Former president Dwight Eisenhower was known as one of this country’s most inspiring leaders. You may recall him as the “Ike” of the 1952 campaign slogan “I like Ike.” Particularly relevant to this discussion was Ike’s ability to inspire his troops. Alistair Horne, author of several books on World War II and a wartime veteran who knew Ike personally, believed that Ike’s likeability was the source of his leadership. Says Horne, “Eisenhower . . . was a great man, loved by his associates and perhaps uniquely fitted for the role of supreme commander of the huge allied forces. I remember well, when I was a wartime soldier, the powerful boost in morale that his broad can-do smile and that fresh confidence imparted to the troops who were about to embark on the most terrifying experience of their lives on D-Day. Ike’s extraordinary ascent was due to a combination of qualities, but mostly his efficiency and his sheer likeability. He even caught the eyes of top soldiers like MacArthur, Marshall, and Patton, who were to become his willing subordinates.” Likeability gets results, from the general store to the general practitioner to the general himself. Wherever you are and whatever you do, you’ll get the best out of others when you present your most likeable self front and center. You really do catch more flies with honey. It’s hard to disagree with Sanders that likeability works. Whether anyone can really change to become more likeable is another story. The Likeability Factor may be an ideal book to pass along to someone having trouble being liked. Steve Hopkins, June 25, 2005
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	ã 2005 Hopkins and Company, LLC The recommendation rating for this book appeared in the July 2005 issue of Executive Times URL for this review: http://www.hopkinsandcompany.com/Books/The Likeability Factor.htm For Reprint Permission, Contact: Hopkins & Company, LLC • 723 North Kenilworth Avenue • Oak Park, IL 60302 Phone: 708-466-4650 • Fax: 708-386-8687 E-mail: books@hopkinsandcompany.com www.hopkinsandcompany.com