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The CEO of the Sofa by P.J. O’Rourke Recommendation: ••
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Some Yuks Amid lots of forgettable paragraphs, including ones we’ve read in magazines before, there are several good one-liners in P.J. O’Rourke’s new book, The CEO of the Sofa. In the wake of the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington, book signings were cancelled because readers weren’t in the mood for humor. When you’re ready to laugh, you may want to spend some time with The CEO of the Sofa. Here’s an excerpt that shows how future events can make what you’ve written ring hallow: “I’m being watched myself. Just the other day I found a piece of paper in the pocket of my new Dockers that said INSPECTED BY NO. 4. Giuliani wasn’t needed in the Senate. Rudy is a cold, angry, vengeful martinet of a man – exactly the person that we 263 million Americans who don’t live in New York City want that town to have as its mayor. Rudi’s what New Yorkers have deserved for years. I hope he recovers and stays mayor forever – if not of New York, then of some other horrible city. Seattle leaps to mind. Ah, the Nose Ring Leash Law of 2003.” Now that 263 million Americans have seen Giuliani’s leadership during a crisis, O’Rourke sounds foolish. Other segments last longer. If you’re tired of the sanctification of the World War II generation, here’s what O’Rourke has to offer: “And by the way, I’ve about had it with this ‘greatest generation’ malarkey. You people have one stock market crash in 1929, and it takes you a dozen years to go get a job. Then you wait until Germany and Japan have conquered half the world before it occurs to you to get involved in World War II. After that you get surprised by a million Red Chinese in Korea. Where do you put a million Red Chinese so they’ll be a surprise? You spend the entire 1950s watching Lawrence Welk and designing tail fins. You come up with the idea of Vietnam. Thanks. And you elect Richard Nixon. The hell with you. Just kidding. Actually it’s the hell with me – since I’ll be the old person when the Social Security chain letter runs out of suckers. ‘Put your name at the bottom of the list. Mail a check for $1,200 to everyone over sixty-five. Break this chain and you’ll never be elected to national political office. There is no money in the Social Security trust fund, and there never was. Money is a government IOU. Government can’t create a trust fund by saving its own IOUs any more than I could create a trust fund by writing I get a chunk of cash when I turn twenty-one one a piece of paper. Social Security is just such a piece of paper, except it says I get a chunk of cash when I turn sixty-five, the government promises. Consult American Indians for a fuller discussion of government promises.” Whenever O’Rourke gets on a roll, The CEO of the Sofa moves along well. I had read the piece on the drunk wine tasting O’Rourke held with Christopher Buckley, and laughed again the second time around. Whether you agree or disagree with O’Rourke’s political leanings, you’re likely to enjoy his way of making a point. That is, when you’re ready to laugh again. Steve Hopkins, September 19, 2001
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