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Obliviously
On He Sails: The Bush Administration in Rhyme by Calvin Trillin Rating: • (Read only
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Swamped Fans of Calvin Trillin and readers of the
deadline poet column in The Nation
may enjoy the current collection of his columns titled, Obliviously
On He Sails. Most other readers will feel there’s too much at once on
these pages. After a few pages of laughs, it got harder for me to turn the
pages. I encourage adventures readers to take this one poem at a time to
savor the experience. Here’s an excerpt, all of Part 5, “Big Shots on Crime Spree; Billions Looted; Few
Arrests Made,” pp. 41-48 George W.
Bush and Dick Cheney Lecture CEOs on Corporate Responsibility “Creative
accounting” is something we hate. From now on
your numbers will have to be straight. No taking of
options for stock you contrive To dump when
insiders can tell it will dive. And loans?
If you want one, then go to the bank. These
sweetheart loans stink! They’re disgusting! They’re rank! This type of
behavior we strictly forbid. Just do as
we say now, and not as we did. —AUGUST 19, 2002 The corporate scandals early in the
Bush Administration— the collapse of the Enron shell game, the revelations of
stock manipulations and accounting frauds, the spectacle of overpaid
CEOs clinging to their private planes and corporate boxes like little boys
trying to hoard all the Legos in the day-care center—involved a number of
people close to the White House. Enron’s CEO, Kenneth Lay, who had been
intertwined with the Bush family for at least twenty years, even had one of
those prized nicknames handed out by GeorgeW. Bush— although at least it
wasn’t something like Books Cooker. Bush
distanced himself from the malefactors. At one point he even said that Lay
“was a supporter of Ann Richards in my run in 1994.” Lay and other Enron
executives had indeed contributed to Richards’s campaign, but had given
several times more money to the Bush campaign. (I once suggested that the
corporate practice of donating to both candidates in an election could serve
as a one-question admissions examination for political science graduate
school: Explain this custom in a short essay without using the word “bribe.”) In fact,
both the President and the Vice President had themselves been associated with
precisely the sort of finagling that was being revealed, Cheney as the CEO of
Halliburton while some dicey accounting practices were going on and Bush as a
director of Harken Energy who managed to dump his Harken stock just before it
collapsed. When Bush spoke soberly on how confidence in the free market
required corporate honesty and transparency, he sounded a bit like Claude
Rains expressing shock while closing down Rick’s Bar for gambling. A Spiried Defense of George W. Bush
Against Accusations That He Dumped His Harken Stock Because of Inside
Information He says he had no clue the stock would tank. About the details he is still evasive. Though “on the board but ignorant” seems lame, With Bush, a clueless claim can sound persuasive. —AUGUST 5, 2002 The Sinking of the U.S.S. Enron—A Free Market
Metaphor The pirate ship has sunk beneath the waves. The swabs who haven’t gone to wat’ry graves Row desperately, though all of them now know Their water and their food are running low. They row their wretched boats, and curse their
lot. Receding in the distance is a yacht That carries all their officers, who knew The ship was doomed, but didn’t tell the crew. The officers stand tall. They saw their duty: Desert the ship by night, and take the booty. —February 4, 2002 Oh, Kenny Boy (A Oh, Kenny Boy, your friends are disappearing. They don’t know you, much less your kvetchy wife. Yes, it’s so sad when pols that you’ve been
schmeering Now hope that you’ll get twenty years to life. They sang your song: they pushed deregulation. They passed your laws. They bent the regs your
way. But now they track your every obfuscation. Old Kenny Boy, their Kenny Boy’s now Mister Lay. —MARCH 4, 2002 The Ballad of Harvey Pitt (With apologies to Stephen Sondheim and his demon
barber) Attend the tale of Harvey Pitt, Who many thought was quite unfit To choose who’ll be the referees For people who’d paid him those fabulous fees. It didn’t seem a perfect fit For Harvey Pitt, The fox who guarded the henhouse. John Biggs was set to head the board, But big accounting firms abhorred The thought of someone so severe. So little birds whispered in Harvey Pitt’s ear: “Hi, Yes. Harvey Pitt, Our fox who’s guarding the henhouse: Rid yourself of Biggs, Harvey. Biggs might know
too much. What we need’s a guy who’s just a bit out of touch.” But who instead would Pitt recruit? He’d need a man of high repute, A man whose reputation’s grand— Accomplished, but
not in the matter at hand. ‘Judge Webster’s it,” Said Harvey Pitt, The fox
who guarded the henhouse. The judge was hardly a CPA. Pitt, though, managed to win the day. He had the votes. He didn’t tell: Webster’s boards also emitted a smell. This meant Saying the truth wouldn’t have been brainy: “Webster is cleaner than Bush or than Cheney.” Harvey, Harvey, Harvey, Harvey, Attend the tale of Harvey Pitt, Who thought he needn’t be legit To regulate the SEC For people as fond of the foxes as he. Bye, Poor Harvey Pitt, The fox who guarded the henhouse. —NOVEMBER 25, 2002 If
you’re hankering for more of the same after reading this excerpt, go ahead
and enjoy the rest of Obliviously
On He Sails. Most readers will find there’s more here than will bring
enjoyment and will want to take a pass, despite an attraction to Trillin’s
fine writing. Steve
Hopkins, October 25, 2004 |
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ã 2004 Hopkins and Company, LLC The recommendation rating for
this book appeared in the November 2004
issue of Executive Times URL for this review: http://www.hopkinsandcompany.com/Books/Obliviously
On He Sails.htm For Reprint Permission,
Contact: Hopkins & Company, LLC • E-mail: books@hopkinsandcompany.com |
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